Friday, August 13, 2010

Black Women Are Special To The Rest Of The World

As early as elementary school I was surrounded by faces that looked like me and we all got alone. There was no problem of light skin versus dark skin. There was no problem of pretty hair versus ugly hair. The only problem was who was who's best friend and that issue got solved in a second. 

However, as I got older different things became issues for me. I started to think maybe I had a problem dating because my skin was too dark. In many rap videos, the girls tend to be light skinned. I started thinking maybe I had an issue with dating because of my hair texture. My hair has always tended to get rough around the edges quick and I've been one of those girls who has always needed to postpone a trip to the salon because of lack of funds. I started to think of many other things that could have been the problem and they all circulated back to the fact that I was black. 

The light skinned issue has not only been a problem when it came to dating. With friends it has been an issue too.  This particular event I'm about to mention didn't happen to me. It happened to one of my friends.

I have a friend that just graduated from Sam Houston State University. While attending Sam Houston she had a roommate who thought of herself as light skinned. Before this roommate came into the picture, my friend had many issues while attending the school. Then this roommate started throwing hate words at her and trying to make her feel worse. To hurt her, this roommate used the color of her skin. The girl tried to make her feel bad because she was dark skinned. The girl would tease her about her skin tone and disrespect her in the middle of conversations. I don't know what this girl's problem was, but I think she just hated herself so in order to love herself she had to hate on others like her. It doesn't make sense, but for some it can do wonders for the self esteem. 

While the issue of skin tone is huge, hair texture has been an even bigger issue for me. When I was young I didn't see a problem. I liked wearing my hair permed. I liked wearing my hair when it was nappy looking. I liked wearing my hair in braids. I had no shame. However, there are many that think when being a black woman you have to choose a certain style. You have to either be kinky or straight like the white woman. Really I've learned that it's impossible to have hair as straight as a white woman's anyway, but I've found it hard to just choose a style and stick with it. I did listen to everyone's opinion on my hair. I even thought about going natural for a second, but then I decided to just do me and switch up hairstyles like I usually do anyway.

 It's amazing how when I was younger I was oblivious to all this, but now it all seems to be an issue. However,  I'm starting to wonder if black women really have dating issues and if black women's hair is really a big problem. This thought came to me recently when I realized how much media attention black women were getting. A few days ago I wrote a post about a CNN article on how black women could be messing up when it comes to dating. I also read recently about a child who's teacher had a problem with her because of her hair texture. However, a month ago I went to a hair salon and there was a white woman getting weave in her head. (Insert sarcasm) I wonder where she got that idea from. About a year ago I also saw a white woman with dreadlocks. Hmn, I wonder where she got that from. I've also seen many white women (including my step mom) with black men. I wonder why they see black men as so attractive. Maybe it's because they listen to what we (the black women) say.

I'd say that would make black women pretty special. We have all of these so-called issues. Others listen to us, broadcast our issues to the world, and then copy what we forget to appreciate. This should remind us to start appreciating the way we are. 

Black women appreciate your skin tone. Appreciate your hair no matter how it looks. Appreciate the men that like you, because 9 times out of ten they don't notice your skin tone or your what your hair looks like. Appreciate yourselves for the way you are. Don't forget to look your best and smile either, because there's alway someone that is trying to be like you. 

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