Thursday, November 17, 2011

What I Want To Do In My Own Home

The thought of my own place is becoming so overwhelming that it's haunting my every move. 

I have a friend who's very brave. Her struggles since graduating college has been finding a job, getting better jobs, and working a lot of over time. Her struggles have also been getting her parents to respect her and see her as an adult. One of the ways they've lacked in respect is giving her curfews. There have been several times when I was with her and her mom would call if she wasn't home by midnight, 11, or sometimes as early as 9:00 p.m. Then she decided it was time to move out and she started apartment hunting. I was proud of her and jealous because I'm just not in the place to do it yet. However, her parents don't think she's ready either and they've done everything to stop her process. They even went to the lengths of telling her if she moved she would have to leave her car behind. This would mean nice new place of her own with no way of getting to and from work. So she's done the bravest thing she could. She has planned to move in with her boyfriend, who went ahead and purchased her dream place for her. This means until she is able to leave her parent's place without arguments she will still have her own private place to go to, cook and eat at, watch television at, and sleep comfortably. 

She is not the only one with her own place. Many of my friends have their own homes. Some of them have gotten these comfy spots through marriage, some have kids, and others have enough money to live wherever they want. While they already have places, I am lacking in my own space and it's driving me crazy. 

I have to come home to the most annoying sounds on a daily basis. Kids frustrated because they don't  understand their homework, parents yelling for no reason, kids running through the hallway, me fighting for my spot in front of the television, getting interrupted during moments of intense writing or reading, etc. It's so much chaos that I don't even think of it as home. However, if I had my own home there are a few things I would do that I cannot do now. 

Rarely Turn The Air On
I get cold a lot more than I get hot. In fact, the only time I'm really hot is when I step outside in 80 + degree weather. So the air would rarely be on. One of the ways I know I would stick with this logic is the fact that I tried it back in the day with roommates. There was always some compromise or some stupid roommate who had her parents complain to the landlord that she was hot and I was mean. 

Sleep On The Sofa In Front Of The Television
Okay, it does not necessarily have to be the sofa but the television will be on when I fall asleep. There is something extra special about falling asleep to nice sounds. Plus quietness scares me and keeps me awake longer. 

As of now the stove has to be lit up with matches. I don't like playing with fire. I'm not a good cook. I don't like cleaning dishes. To top it all off, it is not my kitchen. However, in my own place I would definitely stand over a hot stove and whip something up. There would be no one to judge my cooking and I'd be eating for one. 

Write And Read With No Interruptions
If a tree falls in an empty forest does anyone hear it? If I'm living alone then there's no one to interrupt my reading and writing time. 

Invite A (My) Man Over
Since I'm living with family, inviting a man over would mean having to introduce him to everyone. I'm nowhere near ready for that. Going to a man's house is the same. His house is his private domain and walking into his house feels as if he's inviting me into his life to stay. But what if we're not at that point? See, in my own home I would control when a man comes over, what goes on, and when he leaves. Sex is included in controlling what goes on. 

Those are some of the basics. What have you done differently since getting your own place? If you still have roommates or live with family, what would you do differently if you had your own place?

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