Sunday Reflections 11/30/2014

When in the process of growth, you get offered many options. However, you can't take them all. You can't continue all of those family visits you've been doing since childhood, plan out plenty of vacations throughout the year, and be expected at work during every holiday. You can't pursue being an entrepreneur either if you're doing any of the others. Actually, if you even try to attempt two of those at the same time, then you eliminate the option to sit down and rest. Who wants take away their option to actually take breaks and do nothing? 

My current problem is that I actually thought I was doing it all right as a youth. I went on all the family vacations with no arguments. I was glad to be around everyone even when I was bored out of my mind. I continued to do all of these trips up until adulthood. However, they couldn't be continued. For some of us, parents act real crazy when you're in the position of being a college graduate but career doors just aren't opening up for you. They blame you for every problem. I finally was able to get a job, but it eliminated the option to use holidays as times to visit family. 

Well, I could visit family but then it would create another problem. Before graduating college I already had it set in my heart that I wanted to move to a certain place. That didn't happen, but I also set a new goal that I would not sit around and watch everyone else "live" their lives. I would not sit around and watch them gain experiences that made them happy, helped them to grow, and fulfilled them in ways they would never have thought of without venturing out. I wanted and still do want to be fulfilled. 

However, when it comes to fulfillment of self, I also don't want to continually let others down. I don't want to let anyone down, but I also don't want to continue to go back to the old routines while being unhappy. I want them to be happy for my journey. Is that too hard for anyone else to understand? Others who have gone through it seem to understand, but maybe it'll always be hard to understand the ones closest to me to get.