Still I Hesitate (Poem)

 Still I hesitate

   Poem by Me

It feels like forever since we met

But still I hesitate

It all happened so fast

The butterflies

What felt like puppy love

Then he wasted no time asking me to be his girl

And so far it’s been straight

But still I hesitate

Good times when we’re together

Watching movies and then allowing movies to watch us

As we cuddle up in each other’s arms

Heartbeats becoming in sync

Our breathing patterns no longer heavy and deep

The world seems to be at peace

As we start to drift off to sleep

The hesitation hits me

Now I’m wide awake

And it’s not that I don’t want him

It’s not that I don’t care

Some of it is me being scared

Other parts is not wanting to fall too deep

Because his eyes have already spoken to me

They continuously say he cares

And his mouth has proven to me that he’ll always be there

He says it’s whatever I want

But his body language tells me he doesn’t want to let me go

And it’s not a bad thing because I love the feel of his hold

But still I hesitate

Search for ways to change his mind about me

I’m getting old

My hair is never on point

And I suck at picking out good clothes

Jeans are my best friend

And my sex appeal is way low

Although in reality my sex appeal is at an all time high

Even if they don’t make sense

Still I hesitate

Try to keep him from looking into my eyes

Don’t want him reading my mind

Or he might hear the need for him to be in my life

And I try to keep my words to a minimum

Don’t want to lead him on

Or he’ll find out the way he feels is the same way I feel

And as much as I tell my body to be still

It gets excited when he’s around

Touching leads to kissing

And kissing leads to major attraction

And he’s already offered his heart to me

But just as I’m ready to do the same

Again I hesitate

I hesitate because I’m scared

I hesitate because I get excited

I hesitate because I’ve never smiled so much in my life

I hesitate because he really is amazing

I hesitate because the minute I fall for him is the minute it all becomes real.