Friday, March 4, 2011

Can You Put Off A Relationship For A Whole Year? (

taken from
Nicole Hardesty, creator and writer of the blog
Well, actually in this girls' case it would be nine months. But does trying to stay only friends even make sense? Or could her willingness to want to stay single be the cause of her emotions towards this guy?

See, even though I'm in a relationship I'm addicted to this blog This isn't my first time talking about it. Check previous posts from this year. It's all about a girl who decided her new years resolution was to cut dating and relationships out of her life for a whole year. Sounds crazy, right? I definitely thought it was a crazy new years resolution. Who plans to avoid the opposite sex for a long period of time other than nuns? Apparently this girl does because it's been three whole months and she hasn't been on one date, but her blog has been interesting. Let me give you a recap.

Her first initial post was about the cold weather in New York. For those of you who don't know cold weather means it's cuddle season, where she's at cuffing season. Couples get together to keep each other warm and possibly have sex. Sex definitely warms people up. However, in her case she spent the night alone. There was no cuddling with a boo. There was no calling up friends, because her friends were probably cuddling with their boo's. Instead she watched a movie alone.

Her next post, which was titled "I'm Too Sexy Even When I'm Sick," was about how she had no one to take care of her during her illness. As women when we get sick we love a big strong man to provide us with medicine and make us feel better about the situation. However, even though she attempted to call one of her male friends who would not tempt her into feeling any emotions, he turned her offer down. He thought of himself as temptation for her resolution. I thought this post was funny, because how many men do you know would turn down an opportunity to chill with a girl (even when she's sick)?

The next post titled "The Fabulously Single List" might be self explanatory just by reading the title. This post talked about all the single people who are unhappy and oozing low self esteem. It also mentions all the people in relationships who need to be in those relationships for their self esteem issues. Basically I think she wrote this post to justify her reasons for wanting to be single. In the end it seemed like she was missing having some affection in her life. I wouldn't tell her that in person though.

"Am I Leading Them On" was her follow up post. This one was about the way we women flirt. Sometimes we do it unconsciously There's the way we look at men, give indirect answers to questions, linger on in conversations too long, and for her get into cab rides with the attractive men. There's so many many things we do to attract the attention of men that we couldn't even name them all. We show off too much cleavage, because we want them to stare. We wear freak 'em dresses, because we want them to fantasize about freaking us. We glance over because eventually we want them to talk to us. We do silly things because we want them to crack a smile. See, the list can go on and on.

Remember when Jeremiah made that song "Birthday Sex?" Well, her next post was about not getting any on her birthday. Funny thing is I don't think she really wanted sex on her birthday. She just wanted the attention of some man and didn't get it.

Her next few posts showed bitterness. By bitterness I mean at one point she figured out how to play the role of the wingman. I used to play that role, so I know all about it. Then Valentines Day came and she ripped the holiday apart. Crazy thing is while she was hating on Valentines Day I was enjoying my first Valentine ever. The Saturday before Valentines day were were together and it was amazing; really an unforgettable experience. But this isn't about me. Before her Valentines Day post she did have a crazy one about a guy breaking up with her. He had feelings for her and didn't want to play her single, but still flirting unconsciously game. Moving On....

Towards the end of the month she wrote a post titled "Lets Talk About Sex." In this post she described a sexually stimulating conversation between her and a male friend. She wasn't sure if the conversation was innocent or if she had somehow found a way to cheat on her single year. I admit during my single time I brought up conversations about sex with the opposite males a lot. In a way it makes the single situation a little more tolerable, but for her obviously it didn't.

In her latest post she feels like she's catching feelings for this guy. Could it have been because of the sexually stimulating conversation they had? However, although she feels this way she's wondering if he'd be able to wait until January 2012 for her. But does that even make sense?

As women we do some stupid things. For one we try to force ourselves into situations just to see if we can handle the pressure. That pressure could be dealing with the temptations of single life or it could be see if we're really ready for a relationship. I'm not saying that's why I got into my relationship. When I met him I was neither bitter nor thirsty. Or maybe this whole blog is much deeper than trying to avoid being in a relationship.

Maybe it's simply about finding herself. Just because you can plan your whole life out does not mean you know everything there is to know about you. Whether it's being single or being in a relationship, we are all trying to figure ourselves out. We're learning what makes us happy and what pisses her off. In her case she realizes that male attention makes her happy, but she's still trying to figure out what kind of male attention she deserves. In my case, I'm learning how to adjust to dealing with the needs of the opposite sex. After all, it's not about me.


  1. you find the most interesting stuff to blog about

  2. i was single for a year, but then mistakenly got into a relationship with the first and only guy that took me out on a few dates. 2 years later and i'm back at it except i'm concentrating more on myself, family, friends, and then guys. i would like to at least be talking to someone when my birthday comes, or just have guy friends. i may be single for a year again, i may not, it depends if i'm ready to jump aboard that ship again.