Friday, March 25, 2011

Sexy Advice: If It's White It Must Look Right

Before you read I just want to let you know I'm not shallow. I also love my men black, but exceptions can be made. However, if he is not black he must look right. Right stands for fine. Less than fine is unacceptable.

Women picture this.... You are out with your friends and you see a fine black man walk into a restaurant. He's tall. He's dark, or light if you prefer that. He has the body of a Haynes underwear model. He is also holding hands with an Asian woman. The fact that she is not black catches your eyes first. You look her over to see if she's worth his attention. We all judge non-black women when we see them with men of our color. The first thing you notice is her hair. It is flat and has absolutely not shape to it. Then you notice her face. She's too ugly for you to form a description and she doesn't even have on make-up to hide it. You check out her nails, which are not painted. You then notice she has no bodily shape whatsoever. You observe her clothes and they look like they came from Goodwill. After you're done ripping her apart you look at the other black women. Y'all are all thinking the same thing. "Why her?"

Men picture this... You're chilling with your homeboys at a bar. A fine black woman walks in. She has on a sexy red dress and some six inch heels. To top it all off she has braids that are flowing down her back. However, following behind her is a white man. Your focus immediately goes from her looks to him. He looks like he woke up and threw some clothes on. His short hair is all over his head. His white t-shirt has sweat stains on it. His shorts seem to be a little too short. To top it off he's showing off his ugly feet in some flip flops. You and every other black man think the same thing. "Why him?"

I once had a friend like that. She hyped us up about her boyfriend. We were all excited to meet him, because it takes a strong man to handle her. However, all of our minds went to a "what the fuck" state when we finally did see him. He was white, which was not the problem. The problem was he looked like Shaggy from Scooby Doo. Actually he looked worse. He always looked like he hadn't touched water in weeks and that is why if he is white he must look right.

If he is Asian, Hispanic, Puerto Rican, Dominican, or any other race other than your own make others think he is worth it. Have him in public looking like he took a bath. Make sure he shaves. Have the rest of us feigning for him because he is tall, handsome, and worth us being color blind. Men make sure she has something that will make us jealous. Oh and that something can't be you.

I'm not the biggest promoter of interracial dating. Like I said I love black men, but if he/she is not black make sure she is worth it.

Disclaimer: This post was brought to you by a shallow girl.

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