Do you remember the first time you went on a date? When preparing for the date you were extra nervous. You did not know how the person you were going out with was going to act. You weren't even sure if you were going to like them by the end or the date or if they would like you. So many different thoughts crossed your mind before and during the date. You tried to act normal, but sometimes you may have come off as either funny or weird. After the date was over you let out a sigh of relief because it was over. You could be yourself again. You could even call your friends up and tell them about the experience. Well as hard as that was, it's not the hardest part of dating.
The hardest part of dating is doing it by yourself. Have you ever eaten in a restaurant by yourself? Have you ever went to the movies alone and noticed the others were coupled up? Did you tend to act weird because you didn't want anyone to notice you? You didn't want to appear to be the lonely girl. See, recently I learned that taking yourself on a date is a million times harder than going out with someone you like. Yesterday (4/22/2011) was one of those days where the realization hit me.
While yesterday was a holiday, I still had to work. After work I decided to treat myself to dinner and a movie. The idea actually came to me about a week ago. I went to a restaurant to get order take-out and saw a girl sitting at the bar alone. She'd ordered about two (maybe three) pounds of crawfish and was eating them. She was also watching whatever basketball game was playing. She looked very relaxed, so I thought I could do the same.
So my first stop was the dinner. I ate dinner at Razzoo's (one of my favorite seafood restaurants). I ordered a pound of crawfish and anxiously glanced from the wall to my phone as I waited for my food. I was fine before I got to the restaurant, but a million lonely thoughts crossed my mind once I realized I was the only one sitting alone. It was definitely uncomfortable until the food arrived. The crawfish was excellent and distracted me from all the lonely thoughts. Once I finished eating I quickly paid and left. Sitting in there afterwards would have brought up the weird feelings again. Then it was movie time.
I headed straight to the movies after the restaurant. The movie part was much easier. I've done it a million times and it was a family movie. The only uncomfortable part of the movie experience was this worker complimented me more than once on my looks. A compliment is nice, but it kept reminding me that I was alone. That brings me back to my original point.
It's hard to be by yourself when you don't want to. I feel as if I left all of my friends back in Tallahassee (or wherever else they moved). However, it's a part of life. Online and in real life people constantly say you need to worry when everyone is up in your face. So I guess once I can master being comfortable while being alone I'll have really achieved another goal.
(Disclaimer: Written by a girl whos' learning to be alone)
WWW.SEARCHINGFORMYSTAR.COM, My Life Your Entertainment. Your Life Everyone's Entertainment.
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