Wednesday, July 4, 2012

True Story, Beaten Down By The Outside World

So much character, so little time to utilize it
A goal was made for the 25th year. It involved living as if tomorrow I'd turn old, start breaking some bones, and never get to club again. That means it involved clubbing as much as possible, hitting up as many events as, traveling continuously, and just enjoying life. But something happened...

The outside world got in the way. Well, most of the blame falls on work. Back in the day no one ever said work would become so exhausting that it would leave you feeling empty of energy, empty of happiness, and just plain tired all the time. Actually, my job is okay, but the outside of work life seems to be dwindling day by day. Where is my life?

Then there's the stories others tell. I'm a writer, so I love to tell stories. However, when life outside of the workplace starts to dwindle, the stories go with it. When I don't have any stories to tell, I feel beaten. Wait, that is actually life right now. The stories are going away because the outside world is beating me down.

The stories have started to disappear. This is scary. As a writer (and a loner) stories are all I have. My creative thoughts have kept me company for such a long time. Every once in a while (well very frequently) creativity still visits me, but it seems like the outside world has made me so busy that I'm pushing it away. How could I push such a good friend away?

Tonight I planned on going out and partying. It's midnight, or an hour before depending on where you're at. However, after a full day of work my mind is exhausted. I remember when I was a kid and decided my favorite color was blue. My parents claimed it was a phase, but it has stuck with me forever. I remember enjoying reading a lot as a child and still do it as an adult. I'm not much of a phase type of person. When I love it I love it forever, unless it is a man not worthy of my love.

So with that said is this feeling of being tired and left out a phase? Is the world going to completely beat me down until there's nothing left of the Lashuntrice friends have got to know and love? Or will I prevail and get my creative juices rocking like always? Life as an adult is exhausting, especially when you hit the derailed button.

I'm not where I want to be. I hope this isn't where I am forever.

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