Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Afraid Of (False) Love & Other Drugs

"Got me afraid of, you're so fine sometimes I forget to breathe." 

As I listen to Amel Larrieux's song "Afraid" I can't help but imagine love. I can't help but think of dates, spending time together, cuddling, and good sex. I imagine a man creating butterflies in my stomach every time I see him and surprising me in the sweetest ways. However, when I look on social media and walk outside it's hard to hold onto that picture of perfect love. 

The hottest topic in the last few days has been a fight between T.I. and Floyd Mayweather. Mayweather took a picture with Tiny and T.I. felt the need to check him on that photograph. Although Tip is known to cheat on Tiny, the conversation between us regular folks went a lot of different ways. 

On instagram someone tried to check her for her behavior, so she pointed out all she has to deal with in that marriage. On twitter one of my male friends from FAMU pointed out that his cheating is just a way of preserving their marriage. His argument was basically that since Tiny isn't attractive, it's okay for T.I. to be with other women. I think if a man is going to creep, then he can't be approaching the woman (or men) about her doing the same. I also saw someone say that Floyd could be dealing with much prettier women than her, so he was wrong. However, who the fuck cares about looks? 

Looks fade. Sometimes our looks last longer than we suspect they will, but still as time goes on they start to fade. We have to appreciate the ways that our bodies change, the wrinkles that form, the sagging that begins, the bellies that form. Wait, looks fading isn't my issue. 

Recently on twitter a bunch of people started talking about relationships and cheating. Some guys felt that if their woman isn't giving them sex as much as they want, they have a right to find another woman to have sex with. Of course not everyone agreed. I think the foundation of a relationship should be built upon faithfulness and trust, so if a man can't keep his dick to his woman the foundation will crumble. 

Of course some women are fine with open relationships. An open relationship means she's single, but some women are absolutely cool their men only being part time lovers. Some men believe in never settling into the faithful mentality and that's cool. However, it seems like we hear more from the men about how a man will be a man, but at the same time we hear about how us women have to be trained to handle men. You've seen the relationship books written by Steve Harvey and many other men. 

I've read a few relationship books to see what I could learn. However, there is nothing to learn if the man's mentality is to always get with whatever woman he pleases. Even after he's settled down with one woman and had kids, it's pointless if he is leaving the home to get new pussy for the Hell of it. It's also hard when men that are in relationships are sending me messages. It's easy to tell which ones on Facebook are in relationships. It's harder to tell on twitter and when getting approached in random places. 

"I dream of you nights and daytime too, like someone slipped me something and that something's you." I want the image of these words stuck in my head and not concentrate on all the unfaithfulness going on. The beautiful thing about an Amel Larrieux song is it will remind you of you pure love is supposed to be. It's not dragged down by Love & Hip Hop, or trying to imitate edited porn videos, or even the pressures that are put on us women to be as perfect as a man's imagination stretches, as our own imaginations stretch. I just have to get to that point of believing in real love again and not this conditional stuff I see people talk about every day. 

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