He said he didn't want a relationship.
His words: "I'm not trying to be in a relationship right now."
It seemed as if the words came out of nowhere, but at the same time was completely expected. I knew he would utter the words. It was just a matter of when. He didn't want a relationship. He didn't want a commitment. He didn't want to feel tied down to some girl. However, he didn't realize something.
I already knew what he wanted.
I'm not dumb. I've played this game before. He's a man. He sees a pretty girl. He's enticed by her pretty eyes, slender figure, and nice attitude. Wait, maybe he doesn't notice the attitude. Maybe he only picks up on a few details about her. All he needs is a few details. Is she fun-sized or a big girl? What is she wearing? How dark or light skinned is she? How much make-up does she have on? Is she interested in him? His hormones are racing. He doesn't know how to just walk away. So he sets the mood for a brand new game.
Sometimes I think it's me and sometimes I know it's just the timing. In the very back of my mind I know I don't have to go for this. A girl like me can go into the world, explore, and possibly find true love. Then again I don't even know if the love of some man is what I even want anymore.
I want the sex. I want the conversations. I want the dates. I want the feeling of him thinking I'm special for that particular moment. Even if they each come from a different man, that's what I want. However, I'm not sure if I want him to start loving me for who I am. Or maybe because I've never had it, a fear of what could be has been built up.
But why fear love? That's not a question I really have to answer right away.
Lately I've been trying to figure out who (other than myself) am I writing for? Well, I write for the heauxs and the lost souls trying to figure themselves out again.
WWW.SEARCHINGFORMYSTAR.COM, My Life Your Entertainment. Your Life Everyone's Entertainment.
Friday, January 25, 2013
Untitled (Running From The Relationship Idea)
Labels:
2013
,
Confessions
,
Quest For Love
,
Story Teller
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