In second grade the teacher allowed us to laminate books that we had created ourselves. The story was titled "If I Could Fly." It consisted of a beginning and an end to the story. There were also pictures I drew myself. That was when I decided I wanted to become a writer when I grew up.
At 10 I wanted to become a singer. The idea came to mind during an episode of Moesha. Back then I didn't see Brandy's acting as an actual job. It was her singing that was very impressive and inspiring. I wanted to grow up to be a singer just like her. There was one problem. Dream Killers. Someone telling you that you aren't good at something at the age of 10 kills your goal of doing it quickly.
At the age of 12 or 13 I wanted to become a lawyer. There was a trip that a bunch of us took in the 7th grade. We were supposed to be going to a court, but it was just a basketball court. However, what was presented to us were ideas of the law. We learned how fascinated working in law is and I was inspired. The problem is I was going through a very awkward stage at the time. I quit every extracurricular activity I was involved in and started spending a lot more time alone when not in school or church. When trying to learn about a career in law you have to speak up. I didn't want to do much talking around that time. The idea soon died.
At the same time I also became fascinated with art. During my 7th grade year I took an art class. My parents were furious. You know how some people mean well, but come off real mean? I had already signed up for the class and was determined to go through with it. I wanted to draw and paint the world. I wanted to draw and paint everything that came to mind. I wanted to be creative. I did all that and more in the class. I sucked at drawing and painting, but the memories of trying are still amazing. Maybe one day I'll try again.
I wanted to become a counselor. Sometime between the 9th grade and the 10th grade my best friend became my worse enemy. Some memories can be easily laughed at years later, but there is still nothing funny about that whole situation. Indirect threats on my life and others lives were made. It was brought to the attention of the school counselor, but she never did anything. I was only a teenager with no one I could call a real friend. I also didn't know how to handle that situation. There were games played on my phone by her and her friends. There was the indirect threat no one did anything about. She eventually disappeared and then two years later popped up in a class I had. During that class she actually cut herself to get attention from me. All of that shit made me consider being a counselor. Someone needs to be able to handle the crazy ass people. During college I actually minored in psychology. I took enough courses to where I could possibly get into grad school for psychology if I applied. I didn't want to go to grad school.
My major in college was broadcast journalism. However, my passion has been to learn every aspect of writing, editing, production, and anything else tagged to the bigger picture to see where I fit in. Well, it's not just about fitting in anymore. It's about success and happiness.
These are just the big goals I've made. There are plenty little ones hiding behind locked doors within my heart just waiting for their opportunity to step in the light. There are also little goals that locked themselves away to never see any signs of hope again.
Can you remember every big goal you've ever made?
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