Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Can Independence And Responsibilities Be Managed Together In The Name Of Star Status?

When searching for star status is it possible to manage independence and star status? Recently a friend excitedly told me that she had started apartment hunting. She is currently living with her parents and like many of us young adults, that is just not working out for her sanity. Just think about all thing rules and regulations you had to deal with growing up in your parents house. You probably had to clean up after everyone, be home by a certain time, let everyone know of all your whereabouts, get permission to do everything, and get yelled at about every single damn thing even if it had nothing to do with you. Now imagine being an adult and still having to go through all that. The only reason this friend is still living with her parents is because, like many of us recent (in the past few years) college graduates, the job market fucked her over. Or maybe the economy did it. I'm not sure who to blame anymore. Anyway, I talked to that friend again and she was upset. Apparently either her parents aren't ready for her meet up with independence or they're mad because she is trying to be independent and not need their help. (Pause)

Recently I called my grandmother just to let her hear my voice. I guess that's what you do when you haven't talked to someone as frequently but need to show them you still love them and haven't forgotten about them. It was after work that this conversation to place so my mind was kind of tired, but my grandmother's mind wasn't. Since she had to stop working a couple months ago she's been thinking a lot. The latest topic on her mind was my independence. She basically told me not to take what she was about to say the wrong way and then she told me not to move out. It caught me off guard, because shouldn't everyone be encouraging me to independence right now? I'm not getting any younger. Just like the objects in the mirror, 25 is closer than it appears. (Think about that for a second)

I wanted to know what would possess her to say something like that. She then started asking me if I can handle a bunch of responsibilities by myself. These responsibilities include rent, car payments, student loans, phone bill, internet bill, putting gas in my car (prices are fluctuating, not dropping), and taking care of the essential needs (got to eat, bathe, and stay fresh). Let's see....

Depending on the city, area in the city, and quality of the apartment rent can range anywhere between $600 and $1200. This is not including the utilities and water bill.

Car Payment
Monthly car payments for a nice, but not too expensive car that works well is around $300. At least that's what mines is. 

Student Loans
The first year I was an out-of-state student, so the loan costed more than rent at a cheap apartment complex. Need I say more?

Phone Bill
$70 and I'm managing it well at the moment. 

Internet Bill
On average it costs about $45 a month to have internet. 

Putting Gas In The Car
It's not bad now, only about $20 a week, but with the rest of the expenses.... can it still be managed the same?

Essential Needs
I don't cook often, so estimation is $100 a week on the essentials.

Being that I'm a writer and not a math genius, the above numbers are not about to be added up. You can do it if you want. However, looking at them all, it's easy to tell they can't all be managed together right now. In fact trying to manage them all by myself is equal to kissing my goals goodbye. The one thing that friend doesn't have, which helps her tremendously, is student loans. Her family did a great job keeping her out of that stress. 
So knowing the fact that it is impossible to manage every single responsibility as a young adult, how does it get accomplished? 

Do people give half their bills to credit cards? Credit card debt is one of the highest killers of people. Well stress is a big killer and credit card debt leads to a lot of stress. 

Do people pay the small bills and bills that keep shelter over their heads and push the others away until a later debt? I heard that people used to give all kinds of excuses to only pay small amounts of money towards loans, but now these damn companies are charging more than the mortgage on a house and they want that shit every month or they will screw with your credit. 

Do people just settle for the job with the most money and faithfully pay the bills while selling their soul to a job that will only leave them sleepy at the end of the day? Think about it. Our dream jobs allow us to experience life. The jobs we settle for take up our whole day and give us only enough time to sleep at night. 

Do we faithfully let others help us while at the same time let them control us in hopes that our goals will take place and we will be on our own one day?  That friend is being controlled by her parents, even if they call it being grateful. Most child stars end up broke because their parents spend all their money and then leave them to be broke adults once they grow up. Well, actually the faithfulness is what has kept Brandy Norwood and Ray J rich all these years, so maybe it does work. 

Do we fake it until we make it? How do you fake having something you don't really have? Getting to star status is a full time job, but responsibilities can be a huge setback if we're not prepared for them.

Actually the title is misleading. The real question is... how can you be independent, have millions of responsibilities, figure out how to manage them all, and still dream of being a star? I'm starting to think you can't. 

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