Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Miss Sexual Intellectual: Every Woman's Biggest Fear

(From The Mind Of A Sexual Intellectual Amateur)

Or this could just be my fear. As women we're trained to wait for men to make moves. We're trained to stare at the phone and wait for their calls, wait for them to pick us up on dates, and wait for them to express their feelings for us. But have you ever been so desperate for male attention that you broke the rules? You stared at the phone until you couldn't stare any longer, called up that special man, had all the words planned out in your head, and then got his voice mail?!?!?! Nah, me either, but it's my biggest fear. 

I'm afraid that one day I'll be so desperate for affection that I'll pick up the phone and call a guy. Every word will be planned out in my head and ready to slip out of my mouth. I'll finally hear his voice, get excited, and then realize it's the damn voice mail. I'll be defeated in my mission, but at the same time pissed the HELL off. Can a man possibly miss the opportunity to have sex?

Okay, I've actually come close to something like that. It was a few days ago. However, instead of calling I chose to text three different guys, one of which has already hit. None of them responded back immediately. One did finally respond when it was too late, but anyway as I was sitting in the car I was thinking of what would have happened if I would have called and got a voice mail. An idea hit me.

Now this idea is only for the very brave women who are dealing with men who won't cuss, beat, or try to kill them. I came up with the idea of leaving a message. My message would go something like this....

"What's up? This is Lashuntrice. I was just calling because I have this overwhelming urge to have sex, but since you didn't answer I guess you're not the one it will happen with right now. Talk to you later."

I don't  like talking to voice mails, so the message wouldn't be long. What do you think? I know it probably sounds like hoe activities. But I wouldn't really find someone else to sleep with. It would just sound good coming out of my mouth.

So, would you leave that voice mail? Would you be brave enough to call a man up for sex? Is this even a fear of yours?

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