Sunday, June 26, 2011

Sunday Reflections: Sometimes You Have To Do Things For You

Sometimes I feel like I repeat myself. For instance a few days ago this guy wanted me to explain why a "good man" doesn't justify a date-able man. I wrote until I finally told him I was repeating myself and if he didn't get it then that was his problem. However, relationship talk isn't the only aspect of life where I feel like I repeat myself. Another way is through my goals.

See, I've been trying to create these make believe stories since I was ten years old and I've been writing poetry since the age of 14. At the age of 18 I went off to college and decided to major in journalism. At the age of 22 I set up a blog to help develop my article and thinking skills. Throughout all of this I've always found someone who was willing to read all of my crazy thoughts. While still in college I decided one day I'd be an author, poet, blogger, screenplay writer, and reporter. Because of all the writing, at the age of 23 I decided I wanted to be referred to as a writer (money or no money). However, upon graduating college others decided they wanted to tell me all my thoughts were wrong.

I've been told that I wasn't a writer and that I wouldn't be one until I started making a lot of money one day. Granted, this was told to me while I was working as a blogger for an insurance company. I've also been told that I might as well love where I'm at and drop the thought of moving. Granted, this was said by someone who has no motivation whatsoever to leave this place because they have a career they love. I've also been told to smile more, but how can you smile if you don't feel like it? How can you act happy when you're just tired?

So, although I've been told all this stuff I'm still stuck on me. I'm tired of caring what other people think. I'm tired of other people trying to decide what's best for me. I'm tired of people telling me to be happy where I am. Is a 24-yr-old supposed to be satisfied with where they are? I'm exhausted with the thought of getting comfortable in an uncomfortable situation. I'm ready to do things on my own terms. No bad influences. No setbacks. Just accomplishments my own way.

Now I would tell you my future goals and time limits that are set on accomplishing some of them, but you may think I'm crazy and unrealistic.

(Don't worry though. You're not the only one left curious. My mom asked what I needed with a photographer and I didn't tell her.)

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