Saturday, November 13, 2010

I Want To Go Diving (Starting Life Over)

"I get so lost in my own thoughts it's hard to find my way back"-- Tavares Kennedy

I want to go diving. I'm not talking about the kind of diving that involves water. I just want to go diving. I want to jump. I'm not talking about jumping off of a cliff, bridge, or even from the top of a house. I want to get lost. I'm not talking about the kind of lost where I find myself in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of killers chasing me. I want to get lost in my own city and not worry about finding my way back home.

Wait, is this home?

Home is where the heart is, but every time I turn around my heart is missing. Recently I realized that a place to sleep at does not necessarily make a person happy. Seeing a "Now Hiring" sign does not necessarily make a person jump for joy. Looking at a high school diploma or a college degree does not necessarily make a person feel accomplished. Breathing does not necessarily make a person feel alive.

I want to feel alive, but the older I get the more I realize that feeling alive is a full time job.

I want to take a random trip to Galveston. Once I get a job and start paying back student loans Galveston will probably be the only place I'll be able to afford to go. But seriously I want to take a trip to Galveston. I was tempted to the other day, but my friend was in the car with me and there wasn't enough gas in the tank.

I'm trying to get lost in my own thoughts (think about only what I care about), but others keep opening their mouths and giving me their opinions.

Forget it, I'm about to get lost in my own thoughts. You can join me if you like.

P.S. Maybe I'll take a random trip to Louisiana. Leaving the state would be more interesting.

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Lashuntrice

Lashuntrice