Teach Me How To Love #30in30 Repost

In the midst of struggling for a topic the only one that seems to cross my mind is love. Well, there's also lust and the possibilities of just having a man to chill with. These thoughts keep haunting my mind, so I decided to go deep into the blog posts to find something that matched my mood. Well, I found a poem written by me. It's called "Teach me How To Love."

The following isn't exactly a mood for love and lust as we know it. I wrote the poem more about my career struggles because that is where I was a little over a year ago.

Long ago Music Soulchild had a hit song called "Teach Me How To Love." Then last year both K'LA and Lil Wayne had hit songs called "How To Love." None of the songs gave real examples of how to do it right. They were made to express how the artists were feeling at the time. So being caught up in the lyrics, I wrote my own poem called "Teach Me How To Love." Since I still haven't gotten it right just yet, here's the poem again. I'm pretty sure many of you haven't read this one, so here it goes.

Teach Me How To Love 

Teach me how to love

Because all I can see is rain

Every time a thunderstorm hits I pray to drown

Wash away all this pain

Cause failing hurts

Getting a F 

Or rejected at a job interview

Being fired

Told you’re not good enough

Or even to good to be there

Must depend on other’s 

Cause all you know is you can’t make it on your own

You’ve been proven wrong

Only way to make it seems to live out someone else’s dream

Teach me how to dream 

Cause I’m losing sight of my own

Used to close my eyes

See girls that could fly

Girls who changed the world through babysitting

A girl who found hope in the skin she was in

Girls begging for change

Discovered men who enticed me with strange words

Suicidal girls with magical powers

Boys who could predict the danger of their fathers

Saw men who died and learned to live again

And discovered people who lived out their wildest sexual fantasies

I dreamed

But somehow I woke up

Now everything seems unreal

Looking down watching a girl who’s confused

She did everything she was told 

But then started feeling used

Used by those that influenced her 

Told her all she had to do was listen and she’d make it

Shouted at her for failing

Not what they wanted

Not who they thought they knew

Not the girl they’d spent so many years molding

What did they do so wrong to make her turn out so confused

They told her to peacefully dream

So why did she wake up?

Teach me how to drop down to my knees 

Cause I’m not really confused

Just don’t know how to get to where I need to be

In my own world dreaming peacefully

Where’s the girl who could get lost in a book

Who found solace in made up words

The one who cried 

Because her book was tossed outside the bus window

Secretly hiding for hours doing nothing but writing

No one would understand 

But everyone would be ready to clap their hands

Or hold up their shakers the minute the words left her mouth

Where is she?

Help me drop down to my knees

Find the girl I used to be

Someone told me you could make it happen

So I’m begging

Please help me find me

Teach me how to love

Unless you feel I’m doing everything right

Give me some advice

Teach me how to care

Remind me of those that are there

Bring up my achievements

Motivate me

Teach me how to love me

This is a Sunday Reflections post. It was originally written and posted inn July 2011.