Friday, August 24, 2012

The Single Girl, What Do These Men Want?

Ever since I could remember I've been the single girl. Even in the midst of friends, I've been the single friend. There have been women around me that quickly hopped into relationships. How they did it is a mystery til this day. Maybe it was voodoo, magic, or even really good chemistry. I don't know, but they met their men, hopped into relationships, broke up, and found a new man the very next day. I, on the other hand, watched, took notes, and stayed single.

Of course I've met men and done the whole dating thing a few times. It's only remained a few times because there were very few that actually brought up the idea of going out somewhere. There was one who went with me to poetry night. He didn't even care for poetry, but when I told him I wanted to go he said he'd go with me. That same guy went with me to the movies a couple times. Then there was another one who took me to a few different places he was cool with just because he thought that was what a boyfriend does. Now there was another guy that I used to chill with. I was cool with not going out with him. He was broke, a constant college drop out, and had a daughter that needed his money. However, none of these men or any of the other men I've talked to really made it official with me.

Well, one made it Facebook official, but even he doesn't count. He thought I was a bad girlfriend because I didn't cater to his needs enough. The other ones claimed they liked me, but I don't know what happened. All I know is there was man after man, then silence, and then a couple more men, but I was still single. The men came, but the title still stayed the same which makes me wonder what did they want from me.

One of DMX's most popular lines is "What they really want from a nigga?" I'm wondering what these men wanted from me. What made them talk to me in the first place? Was it my looks? Could it have been my intelligence? Did I have "easy" and "vulnerable" written across my forehead? Even if they didn't get anything sexually, the played with my emotions. They fed me with broken promises and failed to cater to my needs. If I wrote a poem, the man interested in the moment didn't bother to read it. If a guy told me he was interesting in dating or getting to know me, when I was ready to leave the  house and have some fun he was nowhere around. If I told the guy of the moment I wasn't in a sexual mood, he stopped talking to me. If I pursued, but then backed down the guy in turn stopped communicating. For him to so easily stopped talking, what made him answer during the times that I was aggressive? That doesn't even matter.

I'm the single girl. I've always been the single girl. One day I want to create that love that Betty Wright describes as learning her man while she's earning him. However, with this pattern I've fallen into of always being single even while dating, how do I change the outcome? I need new Facebook official boyfriend. Wait, I need more than that.

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