Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Sexy Advice: Girlfriend Is Not A Job Title

To the right Jim Jones Girlfriend
A few days ago, Monday, I was watching "Love and Hip Hop." I can't remember all the girl's names, so you'll have to excuse me on that one, but there was this argument that broke out. The argument was between Jim Jones' girlfriend and the wanna-be rapper. To justify herself the wanna-be rapper kept asking Jim Jones' girlfriend what her job title was. Then she said it was being a girlfriend. That girlfriend part was supposed to be a way of her saying the girl knew nothing about judging music. However, I had a problem with this. Being a girlfriend is not a job title.

Before I mention why being a girlfriend is not a job title there are many things a girlfriend has to do and they all revolve around a man's ego.  A girlfriend has to stroke her man's ego. Stroking an ego is compiled of several duties:

  •  She has to figure out how to keep her man happy. Keeping a man happy is the hardest task to do. It involves knowing the right times to crack jokes, to make nice comments, to give affection, and when to ask for affection. 
  • Stroking a man's dick is a part of stroking his ego. If a woman is not waiting for marriage she definitely needs to know how to do this. Different men like getting their dicks stroked differently. Example some men don't like a woman to put her mouth on it and others like the Superhead treatment. Some guys are boring sex partners and others are freaky in ways you a woman can't read about in a Zane book. 
  • A woman must know how to cook. This is the most difficult of all the ego strokers, because many women don't know how to cook. I'm one of them. When this happens you have to get deliciously creative in other ways. 
  • A woman must know how to control a household. This is for those couples playing house before they get married. If a woman can't hold down a household (keep it clean and have people over at only the right times) she might be headed for disaster. 
After reading those you might think of a girlfriend as a job. However, it's still not a job. There are several reasons for this. While woman may feel tired after dealing with her man, she is not getting paid to put up with him. She also can't put any of her skills on a resume. Only Karrine Steffans, aka Superhead, can put giving head down as a skill. Also no job cares how well a woman holds her household down. Older bosses might even look at a woman funny if they know she is treated a man like her husband, but doesn't have the wedding ring. 

So if you are one of those woman that think girlfriend is a job title, think again. It's not. It is more like an extra curricular activity that you get no credit for. 

(Disclaimer: Brought to you by a former and future girlfriend)

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