Sunday, June 2, 2013

Dreams, Babies, Conferences, And Lack of Money~ Sunday Reflections

I feel like I've been standing on the edge for a while just waiting for someone to push me.

I don't know comfort too much. As soon as I start to get comfortable my dreams start haunting me. Have you ever had dreams about becoming a mother? My dreams started back in college with a dream I was having a little girl. It was weird. Everyone was happy for me, but I couldn't even figure out how the baby came to be. Who did I have sex with to create the child? Why was no one worried about me being a single mother? Then I looked up what dreaming about giving birth meant.

Giving birth according to the dream dictionary suggests a person is giving birth to a new idea or project. So many ideas have come to my mind. They all involve writing in some fashion. It also says motherhood represent the force that continues to push a person on. I'm one of those people that continue to look for encouragement when times get hard. I guess that's why I recently had another dream about motherhood.

In this recent dream I had a son. That son was not one I birthed though. He just happened to fall into my arms and I ended up adopting him in the dream, but not before pushing him away. My mind was set on what kind of life I wanted to live and he was not apart of it. Before I woke up that little boy became a part of me though and I was actually happy.

I'm not sure what that means, but maybe it has something to do with my goals. It could be this whole blogging experience and preparing for the conference. See, I've always had this goal of doing television production. However, blogging is a whole different league. It will open me up to brand new networking opportunities and possibly new friends to make. It also means I have a whole lot more to learn. There's always so much more to learn.

I'm also scared of having another dead end. After this conference I will be broke. My savings account is already very low, more traveling expenses are non-existent, and I'm just too scared to ask for help. So I'm afraid that I'll go to this conference surrounded by so many people who probably have their lives way more organized and then I'll come back home and have to start all the way over once again.

Wait, fear is good, right? That's what Bruce Wilkinson said in The Dream Giver. Plus in order to make money, you have to spend money. Maybe I shouldn't be focusing on my savings. Who knows? Either way I'm obsessed with the possibilities.

1 comment :

  1. The fear is def good AND you do def have to spend money to make money. The conference will go great- so many opportunities on the horizon. And dreams you're about to give birth to. Its just the labor pains first but the end result will be so well worth it.