Sunday, June 9, 2013

Is My Dark Skin A Problem For Others? (Sunday Reflections)

Sometimes I wonder how deep the color complex is rooted in my life.

For years I tried to ignore my skin color. Brown is what I've always called myself.  Brown is what I've always thought was a safe way of expressing it. However, the older I get the more I realize there is no brown. You're either light skinned or dark skinned. Oh, and according to the rap songs the light skinned girls are more attractive. So sometimes I wonder how deep the color complex is rooted in my life.

I'm dark skinned skinned. In no way, shape, or form could I ever be considered the opposite. The first time I ever remember thinking about it was when I was 10. Everyone around me looked like me, so the color complexion wasn't an issue. However, I read several books that hi-lighted the struggles of dark skinned little girls. Was I a part of that struggle then? I'm not sure. All I know is my parents were super strict so it just seemed like I had rules other children didn't.

At 26 the color complex is real. It takes shape in my skin tone and how curly my hair is supposed to look. Who do you think is buying the curly creams the most? (Not light skinned girls with naturally curly hair). The men (not just rappers) express wanting lighter complexion women in their life. They treat dark skin women as sex objects most of the time. My sexual expressions on twitter don't count. Light skin women do it too.

I live in Texas, a state where men look for lighter women with bone straight hair. I'm the total opposite. There was a man I spent a lot of time with when I first moved back here. He expressed heavily that he didn't want a relationship. When I cut my perm off he had a lot to say about it too. He wasn't impressed by the natural look. I stopped seeing him and some time after he got into a relationship with a  Hispanic girl. Did my color complexion have anything to do with his decisions?

There are more stories I could tell, but I'll stop right here. I'm a dark skinned woman who loves her skin tone. This is what I was born with. After 26 years of being on this earth I love myself the way I am. However, because I'm human I can't help but wonder how much others approach toward me is based on the color complexion issue. Life hasn't been easy and I've seen lighter skinned women get treated much better just because of their skin tone.

"Beautiful black women. I bet that Bitch look better red."- Lil Wayne, one of the most played artists on the radio currently

"Like my Red Bitch. That's my good head Bitch."-- Young Buck, from Gangsta Boo's It's Game Involved Mixtape (And Gangsta Boo is dark skinned)

Joy Daily did a documentary on this a while back. Watch Below

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