Sunday, October 24, 2010

Sunday Morning Frustrations

"We're just two bad girls looking for trouble"- Reba

There's a passion I have that only I can understand. It involves escaping reality and creating my own world. When I was little I tried to create that other world by writing short stories similar to The Babysitters Club. I even found an audience, which was the students in the classroom with me. As the interest of those people changed, my relationship to my imagination changed. I ignored the passion I'd found in order to try to fit in with the crowd. 

"Somebody told me that there's trouble at home cause we never talk a lot when we spend time alone."- Baby Face

Then at a certain point in my life I met my first official best friend. She was really into fiction writing and she helped me to reclaim my passion. However, when she went from my best friend to worse enemy my passion for writing became an enemy too. It had been my hidden best friend all along, but it was foreign because of someone's actions. So, when I was abandoned and felt lonely I abandoned the writing. However, years later in the same high school my passion that seemed to initially turn on me decided to show me that we could still be happy together. I started writing again and my talent for writing seemed to get better. 

"If loving you is wrong I don't want to be right"- Teddy Pendergrass

However, the love/hate relationship still seems to erupt sometimes. I've been writing since I was 10, but I'm not an author. I'm just a girl who blocks out a lot of pain by writing poetry and fiction stories. My writing brings me comfort.It keeps me up late at night. It even tells me that one day we will live happily ever after. There have been times where it continually whispered in my ear to never give up on it again and it's hard. I don't want to give up on writing. I want to use my writing skills to develop my career until one day I find myself standing next to greats like Tyler Perry Steven Spielberg. However, that's not happening now and that fact is all others see. Sometimes I feel like I constantly hear negative things from people. They don't fully know me, but they're always trying to dictate my life and being a writer is not in their goal for me. 

What everyone seems to be missing is we're two bad girls looking for trouble. We don't fit what other's expect. Someone's always out to just us, but when we're alone we can create our own judgments and force others to be entertained. We were meant for each other, because only we understand each other. 

I'm not giving up on my ultimate goal in life. Being an author is just the first step, but it's the most important step. During that special day at the special moment in time everyone will know that my best friend and I will have made the biggest step in our friendship despite the struggles. 

P.S. Make sure you are reading the poetry and fiction I'm posting. You can find them under the tags of Poetic Heart and Story Teller. Those can be found on the side of the page.


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