Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Balancing Responsibility and Memorable Moments (Happy Birthday To Me)

I don't want more responsibility. I want more memorable moments.

Have you ever noticed the older you get the more responsibilities you seem to have? As kids we think all we need is to grow up and have money. Money will help us explore what is beyond the obvious. Money allows us to eat and sleep comfortably. Money helps us fulfill our dreams.

I thought all I needed was money to start making my dreams a reality. It's not that easy. Money comes with compromises. Well, the compromises are different depending on where you work. Actually, the compromises are different depending on how many bills you have. While jobs can change, bills don't stop. There will always be a energy bill, water bill, cable bill, car bill, rent or mortgage.

I haven't been the most independent person. I haven't been able to afford all of the responsibility. If I would have started paying back student loans after college, I would still be living with my parents til this very day. I don't pay a car note or car insurance. A car note alone would kill my food expenses for the whole month. However, eventually new job or not the car insurance responsibility is going to fall into my hands and I will have to deal. But I don't want the responsibility. Who does?

There is one huge thing no one ever tells you about responsibilities that you should know. The more you get the more overwhelming it becomes and there is nothing you can do except deal with it. I'm dealing, but I'm also not ignoring the woman that I've grown to become. I'm a woman who stresses a lot but always accomplishes in the end, a woman who actually appreciates the alone time even if it is almost all the time, and a woman who loves to spoil herself. Because of my love of making myself feel good, my credit card has been charged up high.

Let me tell you how my credit card has now landed on this continual cycle of high charges each year. Outside of normal bills, food, and gas I charge everything else on my credit card. That is oil changes and state inspections, shopping trips (I go once every 4 months), hair appointments (that hasn't happened in months), and vacations (that's a once a year trip for now). Also, in the last few months when my energy bills rose to out-of-control prices, I used my credit card for all food purchases. Do you get it now?

I can't stop the responsibilities from coming. I actually want more. One day there will be a husband and possibly a kid in the picture. However, I can take better control of memorable moments. I've tried my best to capture as much of my struggle as possible (can't talk about work) on this blog. From now on the struggle is about to get even more real. You're about to see a woman juggle more than she can bare while having new adventures that keep a smile on her face. It's my 27th birthday. I'm about to go enjoy it. The following is explicit and was written last year. You're warned.

All I want is a big dick nigga who will still his big dick in me. 
But first he'll lick my pussy, stick his tongue all the way in it
Til its good and wet 
And before I realize it I'll beg for him to slide between my legs 
And if he plays hard to get I'll grab his head and rub it like a genie in a bottle
While guiding it to its rightful place. 
Then he'll take over
Put me in total lust 
As our bodies fall in sync I'll leave scratches on his back
Make the walls echo with our pleasure
This is about more than oral sex
And it'll be the best birthday present ever.

1 comment :

  1. Uh, yeah, that ending was explicit. I was warned. LOL! Responsibilities can bring about pride if they're handled accordingly. Once I reached a point of financial stability in my life (no credit card debt), I felt so accomplished. I didn't know what to do with the extra $150-$200/month I was saving from not having to pay minimal balances. It takes a lot of sacrifice and hard work, but once it's done, it's the most liberating feeling ever! I now only have two credit cards with balances I could pay off easily and I've been credit card debt free for almost 10 yrs now. Best feeling ever.

    Keep at it and you'll be celebrating, too! It's totally worth it!