Monday, October 14, 2013

Child Star Envy As A Child #27Confessions

As a child I had child star envy. You know those children 13 and under who wrote books, was able to get television time because they were so young and gifted, and their parents talked proudly about them.  I envied them for their talent and their parents support.

You probably thought I was talking about the child stars I grew up with. Nope. I thought they were all cool. Drake, Bow Wow, Brandy, Raven Symone, Amanda Bynes, Lil Wayne, and many others were pretty cool to watch. Watching their talents made gave me hope. However, the other child stars made me jealous.

I didn't even know their names. Every now and then there would be this story about a 10 year old who published his/her first book. The book would be something very menial, but that child made it on the news. That child's mom would be standing next to him/her glowing with happiness. Now we all know the child didn't do most of the work. Maybe that child was smart enough to write out a story, but the rest was done by someone else. That didn't change the accomplishment though. They achieved something at a young age and I was jealous.

I was jealous because I started creating stories at a young age. In 5th grade it was easy to get classmates to entertain my writing skills. They actually cared. Even if they don't remember today, they cared back then. However, outside of class no one cared. Everyone knew I was writing and reading a whole lot, but no one thought it should matter. My parents didn't entertain my writing. My aunts and uncles didn't entertain my writing. My younger cousins did sometimes, but they were more concerned about playing than reading. It was a struggle, but there was a lesson in it.

People will push you do make achievements in areas where you absolutely lack the skills. For instance in my preteens I decided I wanted to be an artist. You know the people that paint and draw amazing pictures? I wanted to make a career off of that. My parents weren't entertaining it either, but others did. Various aunts and uncles bought me art supplies and I signed up for an art class in school. It was amazing, but I had absolutely no talent. The teacher still passed me, but it was because she could see my effort.

Then there are the career fields that make my head hurt just thinking about them. That's banking (not tellers), engineering, architecture, and forensics. I'm missing some careers, but you get the point. Those are some talented people. I've never been that good at anything that utilized more than basic math. What people do in those careers would kill me if I made the efforts to be like them. Although the money would be a hell of a lot better.

More often I think about my career. Will I be in the same position a year from now? Where will I be five years from now? Who will support me? My family could one day be my biggest supporters career wise, or maybe it'll be you. Not everyone close to me can handle my thoughts.

I don't envy those children who get fame for their writing skills anymore. However, one day I will have a child and that child will look up to me for all the support in the world. I have to make sure that child doesn't lack in any area. Life is tough.

My 27th birthday is in 16 days and this is one of my confessions.

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