Saturday, May 14, 2011

Intellectual Question: When Is A Good Age To Give Up?

Two years ago I faced the hardest challenge of my life. That was stepping into the world of college journalism. Three years before that I learned to take control of my life. I stopped being the girl people could easily bully. I fought back with my words, which possibly got me deeper into shit. Even though I cared, I stopped acting like it so people could eventually move on. I did it all because I was on my own. No one was stopping me from anything and no one was telling me what I could not do. However, a year ago that control seemed to started slipping away from me and I'm still trying to figure out how to get it all back.

To outsiders my parents might seem like the most supportive parents in the world. Ever since I was around ten they've supported my addictive habit of reading. Within the last few years they've supported my habit of writing by buying me computers. This Sony Vaio is the third one and was my college graduation present. However, in reality they can be the biggest bullies. My dad has not verbally supported my writing dreams ever. Well, if he has then he hasn't shown it to me. He's told me to go into every profession except something that involved creative writing skills. Both he and my mom have told me to strictly follow the money.

I write this not to make them look bad. It's written to show that I do hurt. They probably don't know how they really effect me. They probably don't care, because I am a financial inconvenience to them. But the point is I feel the pain.

Some wants are stupid, selfish, and can be easily given up. Others, however, are a part of you and when you drop them you die. 

At one point I was told "Don't take the first job you're offered." It means I'm supposed to stick to my goals. However, I graduated in a horrible time period and fell victim to taking the first job given to me. I don't hate my job either, but at the same time who knows what would have happened if I would have waited a little longer. But it's impossible to turn down money. My generation is the "Get Money" generation. That means that if we do end up getting paid a nice amount to do what we love it's by accident. Not choice. Waka Flocka Flame is an example.

A year ago I was in control of my life. Now most of that control has disappeared to a dark place with a lock on it. The control has been replaced by lots of moments of self pity, tears, and complaints from others because they feel like I'm constantly messing up. Maybe I am messing up. That tends to happen when I don't feel in control. However, I'm nowhere near where I want to be and the ones closest to me (in touching distance) aren't offering the support I need. I feel alone most of the time and it's not the lonely feel that I crave to have.

When it comes to love some people never give up. They can be 70 and still waiting for their significant other. When it comes to money some people are highly motivated. They'll work 72 hours straight just for the paycheck, but never stop to enjoy it. When it comes to goals we are taught to find ourselves when we are little. As soon as we are old enough to talk people start asking us what we want to be when we grow up. We spend our childhoods jumping from one idea to another. Doctor, Lawyer, Writer, President of the United State. However, for some people those goals are worthless. They either spend their whole lives working  on their dream or they quit at some point. Recently I heard a 27-yr-old on the radio talking about how he was still trying to make it in the music industry.

So my question to you is... When is a good age to give up? Would you give up because no one else believed in you at the moment? Or would you give up because your dream might not come true? If you had to give up, what would be a good age to call it quits? I'm serious.

(Disclaimer: I may never stop writing, but I understand there's a chance that it may never become my profession.)

1 comment :

  1. Never keep striving. I am a writer to I never really shared my writing with the world until I read a book by Russell Simmons. He said if you have a talent and love something. You will do it for free, I truly believe that now. We sometimes take advice from people but at the end of the day its our life. We are in control of our lives so we have to live with our decisions good or bad. So with that being said make your own decision and do what makes you happy.