Sunday, May 1, 2011

Sunday Reflections: May 1, 2010 One Year Anniversary

A year ago today (May 1, 2010) I graduated. I walked across the stage of Florida A&M University with my cap and gown video on. Somehow I even managed to videotape some of it. For many reasons I was proud to have made it that far. After that day the only thing to start doing was achieve my goals. Well, at least I thought that was all I needed to immediately start doing.

Month 1- 3 After Graduation
Supposed To Get A Job And Start A Career
What really happens

The immediate goal was to get a job. However, while trying to get a job I was also worried about getting my degree. See, the last thing anyone wants to see on their transcript after they graduate is they failed a class and that happened to me. The class wasn't even something serious. It was a class that seniors spent 4 days (at the most) attending throughout the whole semester. So two days after walking across the stage I cried, but not because I failed the class. It was because I could not handle the professor's nonchalant attitude. I've dealt with a lot of stress in my life. Someone once told me that I brought it all on myself. However, can anyone say it was my fault that those tears came out? People also say challenges are supposed to make you stronger. However, I still feel a little pain when I remember that moment.

Anyway, I stopped talking to the professor. I went straight to the dean and found out the class really didn't matter. My degree still came in the mail within a month of my graduation. During this whole time there were other added stresses. I was applying for millions of jobs everywhere but Texas, dealing with a crazy ass roommate, and hoping I could prove my parents wrong. Honestly, I don't think they believed I could get the job I wanted. I think they were counting down the days until they could drag me back to Texas. So I continually applied for jobs with no success.

 There were moments where friends accidentally added to the stress, one in particular. Although it wasn't my goal she wanted me to move down to where she was. She even told my mom there were plenty of job openings in her area. My mom then harassed me about applying to the jobs. The only thing that neither of them realized was I didn't want to be out there and my mom wasn't going to pay for me to go out there if I was to get a job anyway. Again there was pain because others seem to achieve stuff so easily.

Throughout those three months I wasn't totally stressed. Some of the stress was burned off with partying. Everyone should be able to experience those fun times that I had with friends whether it was partying or sitting around someone's house. Then of course there was men. One of the men became my 2010 summer movie buddy. Another one was something else (for lack of better words). I tried to have as many fun moments with everyone until the day my parents came to get me. Even the night before I had to leave I made the most of it with friends. I was up with friends until morning. It was weird the next day because my dad complained about me sleeping throughout the whole car ride. So July was when my time in Tallahassee ended. There were moments where I was supposed to go back, but they'll be explained in the next couple paragraphs.

Rest of The Year
New State
New Experiences
Trying To Get To Happiness

From August until now so much has happened. In August my dad bought me a brand new car. That was good at first, but eventually became a burden. I also wanted to continue my life as if I was still in Tallahassee, but there were several issues with that. There were also moments where I needed to get back to Tallahassee for friends, but those plans went down the drain. The job search became even harder because Houston is a huge city, but lacks the kind of job that I want to eventually have career-wise. Then of course there were more men. I don't even know how the men happened. Actually I do, but let's start from the beginning.

  • New Car

My dad bought me a new career at the end of August. Usually when someone says they are going to buy you a car you are extremely happy. However, I wasn't when it happened. Instead I was stressed. He made me feel stressed in the process of doing something nice. If you've ever experienced people who do good deeds with bad attitudes you know what I'm talking about. It wasn't too bad though. Honestly as good of a man as my dad is, he doesn't always realize when he's adding stress. But anyway as I said it didn't initially kick in. I don't even know how long it took me to really get accustomed to my car, but it finally feels like mine. It's a bright blue Hyundai Accent with XM radio. I rarely listen to the local radio stations anymore. The original burden of the car was putting gas in it, but since I have a job it's not a problem anymore. (Happy Dance)

  • Living Life The Same

Before college we are slaves to our parents. We have this mentality that it's their rules or nothing. However, after many years we are not the same anymore. We learn, we grow, and create minds of our own. It's no longer about solely pleasing others (even if the others are parents). I had a mind of my own and I was determined to do things my way. My dad originally had problems with my actions, but he got over  it. So there are times where I still leave and don't come home until one, two, or even three in the morning. There are also moments where I just  leave without telling anyone where I'm going. It all feels beautiful. I also control my hairstyle. Because of a job and money, I can successfully look the way I want. There's no more waiting on the parents for funds. At the beginning of 2011 I made a huge move and really cut a lot of my hair off. It's grown back a little since, but short hair is great.

  • Adjusting To Not Being Around The Same People

While I still like to run wild (exaggeration) around town I've come to the conclusion that I'm not around the same people. My friend who likes to hang around me the most is still stuck in the high school mentality. She has to get her parents permission for everything and she lies when she feels they won't understand. That's not my cup of tea, but it's an adjustment. I've also realized I'm not in school anymore. In school you can easily meet new people. However, in the real world you either already have tons of friends or you're a loner. As of the moment my friends are really all far away, so I'm adjusting to being alone most of the time. It's fun though. If you can't enjoy your own company, you don't need to be around others.

  • Houston Men

Since I came back to Houston three different men have crossed my path. Two of them are people I went to school with back in the day. One was someone I met, got into a relationship with, and quickly broke up with too. It was an interesting roller coaster ride and I don't even like roller coasters. Another one is someone who I've really had some good times with me. He even stayed with me on my birthday night. Now I think the third one is still around because he wants sex.

Throughout the months it took me forever to find a job. The job is not in my field yet, but I do blog. The topics are not my favorite, but I am writing (smiles). The money is not excellent either, but at least I have some. I went through some hard times to get to where I am now. Some people look over their experiences and laugh. Others cry because they made it far. I actually feel like the year went by fast, but the accomplishments are not moving quickly enough.

Ending On A Good Note
Recently a friend told me about plans to move to Los Angeles, California. They would involve me, her, and one other person rooming together. I really desperately want to have my own place after I leave my parent's house, but this could be a good alternative to get to where I need. There are a lot more entertainment journalism activities In Cali for me. So, it's the one year anniversary and this is a peek into my life so far. Hopefully next year I'll have some real accomplishments to offer to you.

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