As the work set in exhaustion picked up. My eyes threatened to close on me. But falling asleep at the desk would be a huge mistake. The job depended on me being wide awake. Plus it wasn't that I was sleepy. My body was just feigning for a break, sort of whispering for it's old lifestyle back. The days when I used to see late nights and even later mornings.
This isn't a flashback to wild nights of partying. Nor is it about fine men and missing condoms. If it was about fine men the condoms definitely wouldn't be missing. I have no kids to prove it. This is simply about a girl that most would say had a messed up sleeping pattern. I viewed it perfectly though.
There were nights where I'd stay up and go out with people. It was the definition of Beyonce's song "Party." Then there were nights of late night writing. The writing could have been done in the day time, but I preferred total darkness before my imagination kicked in. Then there nights of being up late for no reason. There might have been something good on television. Maybe I had no plans for the next day. Sometimes it was just one of those nights where no sleep was allowed. I wasn't bothered though. With the late nights came the later mornings.
During these mornings I would sleep. Sometimes my eyes would pop open a little after 10 and sometimes they would stay closed to noon. This is really self explanatory. I loved to sleep the mornings away.
It's not the same. I miss those days. There's always a reason to force sleep. Going to work, trying to find something fun to do, getting out of the house on a pretty day, waking up to help someone else. Then when I try to force the sleep the very white wall disturbs my sleep by keeping me up longer. Writing topics seem harder to come by because I'm rushing them. A deadline called an alarm system is near. The later I stay up the quicker the alarm clock is ready to sound.
I miss those days of going to sleep whenever and then waking up whenever. Will they ever become my pattern again?
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