Sunday, August 19, 2012

Teach Me How To Love #30in30 Repost

In the midst of struggling for a topic the only one that seems to cross my mind is love. Well, there's also lust and the possibilities of just having a man to chill with. These thoughts keep haunting my mind, so I decided to go deep into the blog posts to find something that matched my mood. Well, I found a poem written by me. It's called "Teach me How To Love."

The following isn't exactly a mood for love and lust as we know it. I wrote the poem more about my career struggles because that is where I was a little over a year ago.

Long ago Music Soulchild had a hit song called "Teach Me How To Love." Then last year both K'LA and Lil Wayne had hit songs called "How To Love." None of the songs gave real examples of how to do it right. They were made to express how the artists were feeling at the time. So being caught up in the lyrics, I wrote my own poem called "Teach Me How To Love." Since I still haven't gotten it right just yet, here's the poem again. I'm pretty sure many of you haven't read this one, so here it goes.

Teach Me How To Love 
Teach me how to love
Because all I can see is rain
Every time a thunderstorm hits I pray to drown
Wash away all this pain
Cause failing hurts
Getting a F 
Or rejected at a job interview
Being fired
Told you’re not good enough
Or even to good to be there
Must depend on other’s 
Cause all you know is you can’t make it on your own
You’ve been proven wrong
Only way to make it seems to live out someone else’s dream

Teach me how to dream 
Cause I’m losing sight of my own
Used to close my eyes
See girls that could fly
Girls who changed the world through babysitting
A girl who found hope in the skin she was in
Girls begging for change
Discovered men who enticed me with strange words
Suicidal girls with magical powers
Boys who could predict the danger of their fathers
Saw men who died and learned to live again
And discovered people who lived out their wildest sexual fantasies

I dreamed
But somehow I woke up
Now everything seems unreal
Looking down watching a girl who’s confused
She did everything she was told 
But then started feeling used
Used by those that influenced her 
Told her all she had to do was listen and she’d make it
Shouted at her for failing
Not what they wanted
Not who they thought they knew
Not the girl they’d spent so many years molding
What did they do so wrong to make her turn out so confused
They told her to peacefully dream
So why did she wake up?

Teach me how to drop down to my knees 
Cause I’m not really confused
Just don’t know how to get to where I need to be
In my own world dreaming peacefully
Where’s the girl who could get lost in a book
Who found solace in made up words
The one who cried 
Because her book was tossed outside the bus window
Secretly hiding for hours doing nothing but writing
No one would understand 
But everyone would be ready to clap their hands
Or hold up their shakers the minute the words left her mouth
Where is she?

Help me drop down to my knees
Find the girl I used to be
Someone told me you could make it happen
So I’m begging
Please help me find me

Teach me how to love
Unless you feel I’m doing everything right
Give me some advice
Teach me how to care
Remind me of those that are there
Bring up my achievements
Motivate me
Teach me how to love me

This is a Sunday Reflections post. It was originally written and posted inn July 2011. 

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