Thursday, November 21, 2013

Best Man Holiday and The Thug Tears

The tears caught me by surprise. As they came rolling down my eyes, I tried to control myself. I tried to find the inner thug in me. It was just a movie. They were just characters on a screen meant to entertain me. Yet, I couldn't control myself. Throughout Best Man Holiday, my face was drenched with an emotional water flow on several occasions.

It initially started during the scene where Lance was yelling at Harper. Lance saw the cover for the book Jordan had made for Harper. Although he didn't know the full details behind the cover, he made the assumption very quickly that Harper had only came for the holiday in an attempt at a financial opportunity. The tension had already been high between the two. Lance had never forgave Harper for sleeping with his wife. So in the moment of seeing the picture, he immediately started saying the most hurtful things to Harper. They had once been best friends, but he couldn't contain himself. He wanted Harper to hurt as much as he was hurting.

Up until that point I had been telling myself that it was just a movie with really great actors. Then that scene came. It reminded me of the loss of a  lot of friends, some disappeared from hurtful events and others just slowly disappeared. Those hurtful times could have been forgiven, but stubbornness forced us to part and stubbornness forced us to make sure we had no way of ever speaking to each other again. In 2013 that means not visiting familiar spots anymore, deleting phone numbers, and making sure we remove each other from social networks.

It also reminded me of loneliness. Despite having a loving wife and a woman friend to talk to, Harper was lonely. The man he had once called a best friend, had not been on speaking terms with him for years. He didn't believe in God, so having faith that everything would work itself out was difficult. However, within days of spending the holidays with everyone his whole world was changing for the better. Friends recognized his issues and reached out. His only best friend he'd known was speaking to him again. Then in that moment Lance reduced Harper back to the loneliest place a man could ever get to.

In case you didn't know I place a very high value on friendship. During my teens I was so hurt by something that happened that I vowed to never ever have a best friend ever again. However, during college years I met a few friends that are the best types of people you'll ever meet. Whenever I was stressed and needed to have fun, I knew I could depend on one of them to hang out with. Even if that hanging out meant going to someone's house to watch movies and talk, it was still great. Since moving back to Houston being around people I can call on has become harder. I spend a lot of time alone. In fact I've had some of the loneliest moments of my life, but it's all good. Still I rise.

I really pulled myself together after that scene. I reminded myself that it's just a movie and objectively tried to watch it. But with sad moments like I had, there had to be more tears for the sadder moments and the brighter moments.

Now I'm anticipating the third Best Man movie, but if it brings tears y'all won't know. This is not a regular occurrence. The good thing about these thug tears were no one else was sitting on my row. Real G's don't let people witness their weak moments.

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