Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Never Meant To Hurt You

Toni Braxton and Kenny "Babyface" Edmonds has a beautiful single out right now called "Hurt You." This song is an example of that fresh R&B that leaves you in your emotions whether you want to be or not. Then again, it could be me. Over the last few weeks I've been listening to "Hurt You" on Heart and Soul radio, but over the weekend I decided to listen to it via youtube. Sometimes my internet acts a little funny when it comes to videos, so I was eventually tempted to just purchase it off of iTunes. After so many times of listening to this, I came to a major conclusion. I never meant to hurt you.

The you that I never meant to hurt is actually me. Whether I've put myself in the midst of pain or it was unavoidable, a lot of the hurt has been internalized. It has been buried deep within and it has changed me a whole lot. I'm not the person that can brush anything off her shoulders anymore. 

When I was 10 years old nothing fazed me. If someone was threatening me with bullying, I could laugh it off. If I fell out with the people I called friends, I could easily forgive and be laughing with them the next day. I was the kid that was willing to give food to all the other neighborhood kids until my mom made me stop. I was the person that even when alone was able to find ways to entertain myself. There was no such thing as pain, because it only lasted five seconds before I was seeing the brighter side of things. My hope was restored that quickly. I wish I could get that 10 year old's strength back, but I can't. So I'm sorry for all the pain I couldn't avoid up until this point. I'm sorry for the pain I'll experience in the future. The one person I've never wanted to hurt and never will want to purposely hurt is myself. 

Although "Hurt You" references a person telling their ex that they never meant to cause them pain, in Babyface's interview with Oprah last weekend he told Oprah that the album wasn't done for the fans. It was done for Toni Braxton. 

"You have to know that if you never sell another record, never make another song, that you have done your job. Your music's gonna live forever. Toni Braxton is going to live forever. So you can put out a million things, it doesn't matter so stop putting things out for other people. Put something out for yourself. Say something that you want to say."- Kenny "Babyface" Edmonds

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