Friday, November 15, 2013

The Clean-Up Woman

"A clean-up woman is a woman who gets all the love we girls leave behind. The reason I know so much about her is because she picked up a man of mine." The baby is cute. Like every other new life, it glows with innocence. At least that's what the Facebook picture gave off, a newborn innocent baby being brought into a world that it did not yet recognize. Except this wasn't just any baby. It was a baby attached to an ex of mine.

At least I think I should call him an ex. He was just a man who happened to be around during a very lonely time. He didn't love me, probably didn't even like me but he showed interest in sex. At first I said no, but then during a weak moment I gave in. That's actually as far as it went. We saw each other a few more times and then it stopped. I didn't call him anymore and he didn't bother to speak to me either. It was over. If I can even call it a friendship, the minute I stopped seeing him, stopped calling, or even speaking on Facebook, it was like he never existed.

Except that picture of his child is a reminder that he was once in my life. No, we are not Facebook friends anymore. For all I know he has no Internet presence. However, his sister is still on the list. She was the one that decided to showcase that she was a brand new auntie and I unfortunately noticed. I'm not jealous of his new family. There is no jealousy at all. Knowing that he is with a woman and they've given life to a child makes me question my own life.

At one point when I used to write in a tablet and hide that tablet from the world I was shy. Any issues that crossed my mind on friendships, relationships with men, and loneliness were all kept to myself. However, years of writing, a journalism degree, and a world of online readers has caused me to share a lot. Almost every man I cross ends up being engulfed in my words. Most enjoy what they read. Some even learn a few things from those words. A couple have inspired the creations.

When it comes to the men that have given me the experiences, I think of myself as the teacher. I taught them how it was okay to come running at the drop of a dime whether it was the middle of the night or early in the morning. I taught them how to admire whatever talent a woman has. I taught them that not every woman reacts violently to their stupid shenanigans and some women won't react at all after a while. I taught them that not every woman goes running back when their could be something better forward.

Being that woman is a messy job. It comes with many adventures, some smiles, and a lot of pain. However, it's a job someone has to do. Recently I realized that I am that woman that has made room for the clean-up woman. Some woman is reaping the benefits of my lessons.

However, one day I'll be the clean-up woman. Maybe you are the one teaching a man everything he needs so he'll one day be good to me. (Laugh)

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