Wednesday, November 20, 2013

(LHHNY) What The Friends With Benefits Title Could Lead To

Have you been watching Love and Hip Hop New York? If yes, then you know about the messy love triangle between Peter Gunz, Tara Wallace, and Amina Buddafly.

From the very first episode we knew that Peter and Tara had been together 13 years and have two children together. On the other hand Peter and Amina hooked up and in less than a year became husband and wife. That marriage is real. In fact in Amina's twitter biography she includes all of her artistic skills and also includes being a wife. That ring means a lot. However, she is not the important part of this story. The focus is on Peter and Tara.

From the start I wondered how two people could hook up and last 13 years in a relationship. Actually, how could they have a decade and some kids but no thoughts of walking down the aisle? Of course like all questions, answers soon follow. Recently Tara was a guest on The Breakfast Club morning show. In the interview she talks about joining the Love and Hip Hop cast, how boring of a couple she and Peter were, finding out he was married, and how they first met. See, the rumors are that she was an original side chick, but according to her it's deeper. They became friends which then led to being friends with benefits.

Once upon a time I watched many Disney movies. They involved a beauty trying to tame a beast and live happily ever after, a woman in a deep slumber awaiting a handsome prince getting lost in the woods just to kiss her and wake her up, a beautiful woman being treated like a slave by her family until the prince came along with a shoe that fit, and a whole lot of other weird love stories stories. However, none of them prepared me for the simplicity of what men would do just to put me in the friend zone and still be able to get a piece of my goodies. Read some stories below.

  • One time I was charmed with ideas of helping a guy study for class. The class was Advanced Composition. After a person gets that high school diploma, they are not trying to learn any more grammar skills, but I fell for that dumb lines. It didn't last 13 years years. 

  • There was another time I met a guy and in less than a day we got along so well. Our connection was so intense that by the next night he was in my bedroom. We only kissed that night, but it wasn't the last night we'd see each other. We flirted for some time, but he never mentioned me becoming his girlfriend. He did, however, throw out that he was talking to another girl that I had met through friends. It was confusing. I think he wanted to be with both of us, but my pride wouldn't let it happen. That strong connection began to fade. We didn't last 13 years. 

  • I'll give you all one more story. I met this guy and we immediately began talking sex. He wasted no time revealing where his mind was. I tried to play like I could handle being used for only physical pleasure. After all we'd both be getting pleasure out of it. Then came the night where we had sex. I was initially nervous, but as soon as it started it felt like it was over. He was quick and ready to go soon after. Before leaving he made it a point to remind me it was just a friendly thing. I felt bad, because it was done so fast I should have been getting paid. There was no money left on my night stand though. I began to have seconds thoughts, so I called him days later just to be convinced that what we were doing was fine. I didn't want to quit, because he needed to do better than that horrible sex experience. However, he didn't answer and he didn't return my phone call. Instead he waited two weeks and then called because he was ready to do it again. By then my mind was over it and him. That obviously didn't last 13 years. It didn't last a month. 

I've often wondered what could come out of a friends with benefits situation if it manages to last. Are there children in the future? Could it possibly lead to walking to down to meet him in tux in front of a preacher? Obviously not. The fact is the relationship starts off as fun. If it last long enough, he accidentally puts a baby or more inside of me. We become a family because of carelessness, but decide to deal with it. I eventually get too comfortable and don't demand anything from him except sex and he be a good dad. Then one day he comes home married to another woman and my whole life falls apart. Or maybe I've been watching too much television. Watch Tara's interview below.

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